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Improving Self-esteem

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Lack of Self-confidence is Not the End of the World
There are moments in life when we have to be at our peak. At these times we need  to give a convincing demonstration of the good qualities within us from a position of faith in ourselves and our values. Whether we are facing a crucial work interview, a university exam, an important business meeting or even a blind date, we want to mobilize all our capabilities to win through and succeed.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are vital when we have to market ourselves quickly and decisively. Without them, even if we have wonderful abilities and talents they will be hidden behind our low self-esteem.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are essential and significant tools of support in all areas of life. Children, youth or adults with low self-esteem are likely to fear raising their hands and participating in lessons. Those who lack self-confidence won't express their wants or ideas at work and will attract an attitude of contempt towards them. They will give up their rightful place in the family and will usually try to make concessions to keep everybody else happy. Their independent identity is unstable and can be easily upset. These people are usually miserable and unable to fully express themselves.

There are clients who come to us completely cowed. For all of their life, they haven't had the self-confidence and the courage to fully express themselves, afraid that others would listen to them and criticize them. They believe that that they have nothing to say or that what they have to say is of no importance. They don't dare to take significant steps in their lives and in every field of endeavor that occupies them they are sure that they are not good enough. A person, who lives with this kind of feeling inside of them, also broadcasts it outside of them. Other people are repelled and keep their distance so the timid person is trapped into isolation, which is difficult to break out of. In many cases, low self-esteem is the result of what a person experienced in the home where they grew up. Expressions like "you're
worthless" , "you are not capable of..", "you'll never amount to anything", can influence a person all of their life unless they choose to do something about it.

In Life Coaching, we work on how to improve self-esteem and then on building self-confidence. Through intensive work, it's possible to reach the position where a person recognizes their own worth, talents and capabilities, and when they go out into the world, everybody else also sees them.

Here are some useful tips for improving self-esteem and strengthening self-confidence :

1. Learn to smile and practice with a mirror, because smiling excretes hormones which make us happier and that helps us to elicit a positive reaction from others. The more you smile the easier it becomes for you to smile again. Research shows that expressing emotions in our faces helps us to recognize emotions in the faces of others. Soon you will be better at noticing when other people smile at you.
2. Make a list of all your good qualities and talents and start reading it every day.
3. Write down on a piece of paper, 10 things you are grateful for. If it's difficult for you to start the list, imagine all the people who worked hard to produce and prepare your food, your clothing or to build the house you live in. Remember that "taking things for granted" in life is the big enemy that neutralizes our ability to appreciate things and express gratitude.
4. Write down on a piece of paper, 10 people or animals whom you helped, or who enjoyed or still enjoy your company.
5. Learn to forgive your own mistakes, weaknesses and limitations. Nobody is perfect. Instead of blaming yourself, treat yourself with patience and tolerance even when you foul up.
6. Don't hesitate to tell somebody else who has hurt you what you are feeling but learn to forgive others and don't bear grudges. Recognize that other people have weaknesses and make mistakes. This habit will also help you forgive yourself.
7. Respect your body by eating correctly and frequent exercise.
8. Don't automatically accept your own self criticism. Get to know that inner negative voice that says things like "you will never succeed at.." and learn to battle it by developing habits of positive affirmations.
9. Help others to raise their self-esteem. Support them and never ridicule anybody.
10. Don't be shy about asking for help. Nobody knows everything and it's much better asking for help than looking pitiful and behaving like a victim.
11. Develop hobbies of self-expression like : painting, sculpture, gardening, singing, amateur theatre, photography or writing a daily diary or blog, You can also study something new or go on nature trips.
12. Respond to compliments you get and accept the fact that you deserve them.
13. Stop comparing your lives to others. Nobody else is living your life. There is nobody else exactly like you in the whole wide universe.

Practicing these exercises will help you.
When combined with Life Coaching, they facilitate a deep process involving mapping and removing the barriers to your success and strengthening your belief in yourself so you are able to make substantial changes in your life path.

Don't miss the opportunities that you were given by life. Don't give up on yourself.




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